How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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