Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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