Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
