i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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