I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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