Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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