just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
