Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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