why didn't you poke me back
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
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I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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