I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
