LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
