Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
