i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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