you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
