Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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