is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
