Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
