I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
