I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
