I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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