return my video game
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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