Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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