Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
