he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
