How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
