i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
