I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
