do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
