You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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