**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
