i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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