Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
