Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
