See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
