I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
