They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
