your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
