quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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