So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
