You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
