Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
