You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
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Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
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So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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