it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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