would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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