Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
