What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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