yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
