that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I want her autograph on my taint
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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