I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
