Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
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incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
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There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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