I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
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Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize