Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You dont lie about slip and slides
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
