he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
