And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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