jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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