She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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