Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
