Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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