Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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