So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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