she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
