I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
