I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
