porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize