I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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