And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
