Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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